I have the same guilt. Even if we didn't know each other as deeply as the people now... I still cared a lot about Bertolt. He was a child. My hands have his blood on them, but it was either kill or be killed.
For what it's worth, you gave Rochalizo what he wanted in the end. I know you hate what happened and how it went... and maybe saying this doesn't make it easier for you right now, but please believe me, I think what you did was right, in the end.
If after this, that bright soul of yours needs help to keep shining... I'm here, Kaeya. I'll always be here for you.
[ polaris will crawl out further, nuzzling back softly and eventually sitting beside her. his body language is withdrawn, not at all how he usually is, tail tucked close, but he's relentless in wanting to press against her, his fur cold. kaeya looks at kotetsu for a long moment and a very faint smile breaks over his lips as he pushes his meal away and takes the hot mug of tea to his left. ]
I was only able to do it with help.
[ his fingers curl tightly into his palms. ]
I have no hesitation for killing those who hurt my family, who hurt those precious to others and have no remorse, but this killing game doesn't give anyone a choice. When your feet start walking for you, Kotetsu...
[ he meets his eyes. ] My heart was full of dread. And now even moreso. But... [ his soul. hah. ] I will be here for you as well.
[ his hand stretches out, finds kotetsu's and offers it over, palm up. ]
[ finely stays close to polaris, letting him take the comfort he needs in her company.
kotetsu reaches over to take his hand, squeezing softly. ]
I'm the one that is here for you this time. To tell you that you're not alone. I've been told I shouldn't carry my weight alone and I'm passing that advice on to you.
You're not alone in this. We'll help you carry that pain and burden on your heart.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
It feels like no matter what choice you make in there is the wrong one, doesn't it?
no subject
It wasn't my intention. Never. And now...
[ he looks down at the soup again. ]
We somehow must move on from all of this. I know I have to. There's no other choice. But I...
[ his sword hand became so cruel all at once. ]
no subject
I have the same guilt. Even if we didn't know each other as deeply as the people now... I still cared a lot about Bertolt. He was a child. My hands have his blood on them, but it was either kill or be killed.
For what it's worth, you gave Rochalizo what he wanted in the end. I know you hate what happened and how it went... and maybe saying this doesn't make it easier for you right now, but please believe me, I think what you did was right, in the end.
If after this, that bright soul of yours needs help to keep shining... I'm here, Kaeya. I'll always be here for you.
no subject
I was only able to do it with help.
[ his fingers curl tightly into his palms. ]
I have no hesitation for killing those who hurt my family, who hurt those precious to others and have no remorse, but this killing game doesn't give anyone a choice. When your feet start walking for you, Kotetsu...
[ he meets his eyes. ] My heart was full of dread. And now even moreso. But... [ his soul. hah. ] I will be here for you as well.
[ his hand stretches out, finds kotetsu's and offers it over, palm up. ]
no subject
kotetsu reaches over to take his hand, squeezing softly. ]
I'm the one that is here for you this time. To tell you that you're not alone. I've been told I shouldn't carry my weight alone and I'm passing that advice on to you.
You're not alone in this. We'll help you carry that pain and burden on your heart.