So-called correct answer is the right way to put it...
[ kaeya's thumb strokes softly against his hand, soothed for the time being, barely. ]
I can't say I've been happy about any of them save perhaps Qi Rong and Suigetsu... they truly seemed unrepentant, coerced by angels and dust or not. [ his fingers tremble a little. ] Kotetsu, I haven't considered anyone family in a long time... but Sheba... she felt just like that. It felt like she was one of my own. And it hurt like a knife between the ribs.
[ he just looks down at their hands again, his brows drawn. ]
There's nothing to be done.
[ he just finishes his drink and places his head in his other hand. ]
I just... I just want to know who did it. I want to know why they chose Sheba... I want to know it all. At first, all I wanted was to give them the same, a slow and painful death... but I know that won't help. I know that just feeds the machine, this sick thing. I can't give into hate as much as I want to. I won't, but I must know.
Yes... All of us have to remember where to direct our anger. It's so... awful. The pain we're all accumulating over time. And as we get to know one another deeper, that knife sharpens. But we can't let that stop us from reaching out to others.
I believe, in time, we will all find those answers. I know that's not easy to sit with right now, but... hold on to that. The hope for the future. Even if it's hard to see through the darkness.
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We were so used to getting the so-called correct answer that when we failed it was like a punch that took out all the wind.
But none of them have really been victories. Can any of us say we're really happy catching those killers? Especially when they're being controlled.
no subject
[ kaeya's thumb strokes softly against his hand, soothed for the time being, barely. ]
I can't say I've been happy about any of them save perhaps Qi Rong and Suigetsu... they truly seemed unrepentant, coerced by angels and dust or not. [ his fingers tremble a little. ] Kotetsu, I haven't considered anyone family in a long time... but Sheba... she felt just like that. It felt like she was one of my own. And it hurt like a knife between the ribs.
no subject
I'm so sorry to hear that. Losing someone that close... It hurts deeply, doesn't it?
[ there's a painful ache in his voice, an understanding of that loss. He never would have wanted kaeya to experience it. ]
If there's anything I can do...
no subject
There's nothing to be done.
[ he just finishes his drink and places his head in his other hand. ]
I just... I just want to know who did it. I want to know why they chose Sheba... I want to know it all. At first, all I wanted was to give them the same, a slow and painful death... but I know that won't help. I know that just feeds the machine, this sick thing. I can't give into hate as much as I want to. I won't, but I must know.
no subject
I believe, in time, we will all find those answers. I know that's not easy to sit with right now, but... hold on to that. The hope for the future. Even if it's hard to see through the darkness.