[Adelheid, similarly, is at her most imposing in her harpy eagle form, loping along on her big ol talons at Van Zieks feet. Looking for Irene. He's just staring Sholmes down, arms folded. His initial demand stands, clearly.]
[Irene is at his feet, grooming herself anxiously in the form of a hare. Sholmes thinks for a good moment.]
I cannot deny it. [He inhales and exhales, slow, before looking up at the both of them.] I have deep feelings for the both of you. Of a most equal level.
[He bows his head.]
I cannot explain it. But this is the truth. And to pick one over the over is a thought that most vexes me. I'd rather tear myself into two.
[ He's going to be approaching this in more of a... neutral manner. But his hands tighten at his sides. Not in anger, but to refrain from reaching out to Sholmes.
Finley slowly stalks forward to maybe give Irene a little nose nudge. She's a little more forward with wanting to comfort things. ]
I meant what I said yesterday.
[ He won't repeat those words, unless prompted to. But he'll stare Sholmes with a deep gaze. He's sticking to it. ]
Life is made of difficult decisions. Do you truly think you can have your cake and eat it too?
[Adelheid is hanging back, huddling close to van Zieks leg, as if she's trying to act big and tough but also is stressed enough that she needs the proximity to the rest of her soul.]
...I meant every word of what I said to you yesterday, Kotetsu.
[He really did. That's what's destroying him.]
[He grits his teeth - no, he won't let this stand in this awkward aura forever. He's making a move, and that move is to reach out for Kotetsu's hand and Van Ziek's hand at the same time.]
Can I not have the both of you? It would please me so if I could, and if it would please you two... [And a sigh.] But if it would be best, I will cut myself from the both of you ever and completely. Better that, than to watch one of you suffer for the sake of the other.
[ He closes his eyes for a moment. Just to ground himself. He cannot deny how he feels and he won't back down on what he said. His eyes open to stare firmly at him. ]
I can't say I'm happy with the idea, but I could learn to live with it. I'd rather have that than you actually try to cut yourself in half or ... break my promise.
[You know, as somehow the youngest one here, I think it is van Zieks's god given right to be the most unreasonable and dramatic about this. Anyway he gestures at Kotetsu like "you see this clown"?]
What could you possibly see in a man as weak willed as this? I do not-
[And then he brings his hand back in to clutch at his chest.]
You... you should know I am not experienced in matters such as these. In such circumstances.... I do not know if I can stand to share you with another.
He is not weak-willed. You know not of what you speak.
[He frowns, deeply. He doesn't know what to do.]
Do you presume that I am experienced in such matters such as these as well, Van Zieks? [And a shaky sigh.] I wish there was some grand solution. I do not wish to lose you. And I do not want to lose Kotetsu. If you prefer, we can...simply exist together, and see what grows from this. If...if at any point either of you disagree, you can leave. I do not want you to, of course. But I am not either of you, and I do not control your fates..
[He kisses the back of Van Ziek's hand, and then Kotetsu's hand, as sincerely as he can.]
[ Kotetsu's shoulders tense at being called weak willed and looks over at van Zieks with a bit of a dark glare. Finley shifts immediately from lion to tiger and moves to face the man. ]
I know I told you that you were welcome to insult me before, but that's one I won't just roll over and take.
[ He squeezes Sholmes' hand, perhaps a bit tight. Trying to control himself from this little spike in anger. ]
Just because I won't want to break an important promise and I want to make him happy... Is that why you're calling me weak-willed? It's the opposite. I'm willing to try.
[ But he looks away now, looking off to the side and not directly at Sholmes, but down at their hands. The hand that is being held... the ring he has. It just firms his resolve. ]
I don't want to break anymore promises or have any more regrets. And if that means giving him what he wants, I'll do it.
[Ugh!!! Adelheid flaps her wings, as if threatening, or simply sheer defensiveness. He has never had to deal with this before, or anything concerning relationships. He'd had scant few pursuers in school, all women of course, and he'd been able to rebuff them just fine. After all, he hadn't been interested.
It's his instinct to simply cut his losses, to storm off, let the two buffoons have their fun. He's used to gloom, to brooding, being by himself and mourning. He knows how to do it. It would be easy. But he'd never chose his losses before. And the idea of walking into that willingly. It's too painful.
Maybe this unfortunate, sideways situation is all he deserves, anyway.]
.... Fine. [That's all he can bring himself to say at the moment.]
[It feels wrong. As if it is impossible that he can have such deep feelings for both of these men, in their own way, but he can't deny it. Why would he? He sees their faces, and he is reminded of it, and it makes this hurt all the more.]
Please...for the love of everything...I could not tolerate it if you fought. Both of you are amazing in my eyes for your own reasons. [He turns to Kotetsu.] You, for your eternal warmth, and your strength of character. [He turns to Van Zieks.] You, for your unwavering determination, and your indomitable will.
[Is this selfish? Is forcing them into this...is it just for him? But it isn't as if he can divide himself in two.]
We shall take this one step at a time. I shan't leave either of you behind.
[ One hand slowly reaches out to Sholmes, to touch his cheek, but glances over at van Zieks. He doesn't know if this is okay. To touch him freely in front of the other man. It's one thing for Sholmes to initiate, but another to take his own action.
But, he does it anyway, returning his look to Sholmes. If they're going to make this work, they have to start somewhere.
Finley has stopped bristling and shrinks down in size a bit to her giant flemish rabbit form, showing no threat. ]
[The compliment... does help, a little. Makes him feel like less of one of the many whims of this impossible man. As before, Adelheid acts before van Zieks does, shrinking down to her cat form, before padding over to Irene to nuzzle her. She even exchanges a glance with Finley, one that is less judgemental and more expectant.]
... Consider it taking your advice. It's... I think it's what Klint would want for me. Things are perhaps not always as black and white as they should be.
[Kotetsu like who the fuck is Klint. Speaking of, van Zieks spares him a glance.]
I do not like you. However, for the sake of this arrangement I will make not quarrel with you, for now.
...I think Klint would want many a thing for you, Van Zieks.
[But there's a sigh of relief, though...deep down, Sholmes knows that this arrangement is fragile. It tenses, like a wire that could break, or could hold strong.]
[He steps towards Kotetsu to give him a light kiss to the lips, and then does the same to Van Zieks. Irene rubs her head against Adelheid, before hopping over to Finley, mimicking her owner. The man himself lets out a sigh.]
I simply wish for you all to be happy. That is all.
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I cannot deny it. [He inhales and exhales, slow, before looking up at the both of them.] I have deep feelings for the both of you. Of a most equal level.
[He bows his head.]
I cannot explain it. But this is the truth. And to pick one over the over is a thought that most vexes me. I'd rather tear myself into two.
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Finley slowly stalks forward to maybe give Irene a little nose nudge. She's a little more forward with wanting to comfort things. ]
I meant what I said yesterday.
[ He won't repeat those words, unless prompted to. But he'll stare Sholmes with a deep gaze. He's sticking to it. ]
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[Adelheid is hanging back, huddling close to van Zieks leg, as if she's trying to act big and tough but also is stressed enough that she needs the proximity to the rest of her soul.]
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[He really did. That's what's destroying him.]
[He grits his teeth - no, he won't let this stand in this awkward aura forever. He's making a move, and that move is to reach out for Kotetsu's hand and Van Ziek's hand at the same time.]
Can I not have the both of you? It would please me so if I could, and if it would please you two... [And a sigh.] But if it would be best, I will cut myself from the both of you ever and completely. Better that, than to watch one of you suffer for the sake of the other.
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I can't say I'm happy with the idea, but I could learn to live with it. I'd rather have that than you actually try to cut yourself in half or ... break my promise.
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What could you possibly see in a man as weak willed as this? I do not-
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You... you should know I am not experienced in matters such as these. In such circumstances.... I do not know if I can stand to share you with another.
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[He frowns, deeply. He doesn't know what to do.]
Do you presume that I am experienced in such matters such as these as well, Van Zieks? [And a shaky sigh.] I wish there was some grand solution. I do not wish to lose you. And I do not want to lose Kotetsu. If you prefer, we can...simply exist together, and see what grows from this. If...if at any point either of you disagree, you can leave. I do not want you to, of course. But I am not either of you, and I do not control your fates..
[He kisses the back of Van Ziek's hand, and then Kotetsu's hand, as sincerely as he can.]
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I know I told you that you were welcome to insult me before, but that's one I won't just roll over and take.
[ He squeezes Sholmes' hand, perhaps a bit tight. Trying to control himself from this little spike in anger. ]
Just because I won't want to break an important promise and I want to make him happy... Is that why you're calling me weak-willed? It's the opposite. I'm willing to try.
[ But he looks away now, looking off to the side and not directly at Sholmes, but down at their hands. The hand that is being held... the ring he has. It just firms his resolve. ]
I don't want to break anymore promises or have any more regrets. And if that means giving him what he wants, I'll do it.
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It's his instinct to simply cut his losses, to storm off, let the two buffoons have their fun. He's used to gloom, to brooding, being by himself and mourning. He knows how to do it. It would be easy. But he'd never chose his losses before. And the idea of walking into that willingly. It's too painful.
Maybe this unfortunate, sideways situation is all he deserves, anyway.]
.... Fine.
[That's all he can bring himself to say at the moment.]
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[He hates all of this.]
[It feels wrong. As if it is impossible that he can have such deep feelings for both of these men, in their own way, but he can't deny it. Why would he? He sees their faces, and he is reminded of it, and it makes this hurt all the more.]
Please...for the love of everything...I could not tolerate it if you fought. Both of you are amazing in my eyes for your own reasons. [He turns to Kotetsu.] You, for your eternal warmth, and your strength of character. [He turns to Van Zieks.] You, for your unwavering determination, and your indomitable will.
[Is this selfish? Is forcing them into this...is it just for him? But it isn't as if he can divide himself in two.]
We shall take this one step at a time. I shan't leave either of you behind.
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But, he does it anyway, returning his look to Sholmes. If they're going to make this work, they have to start somewhere.
Finley has stopped bristling and shrinks down in size a bit to her giant flemish rabbit form, showing no threat. ]
I trust you. And for your sake...
[ A glance at van Zieks before shifting again. ]
I'll trust him.
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... Consider it taking your advice. It's... I think it's what Klint would want for me. Things are perhaps not always as black and white as they should be.
[Kotetsu like who the fuck is Klint. Speaking of, van Zieks spares him a glance.]
I do not like you. However, for the sake of this arrangement I will make not quarrel with you, for now.
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[But there's a sigh of relief, though...deep down, Sholmes knows that this arrangement is fragile. It tenses, like a wire that could break, or could hold strong.]
[He steps towards Kotetsu to give him a light kiss to the lips, and then does the same to Van Zieks. Irene rubs her head against Adelheid, before hopping over to Finley, mimicking her owner. The man himself lets out a sigh.]
I simply wish for you all to be happy. That is all.
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We'll manage. We've all agreed to it and I think van Zieks is a respectable man. Despite what happened earlier.
[ He clears his throat a little. He's honestly not trying to cause trouble, but really? He was pretty irrational over this. ]
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There is no need to bring that up!
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[HMMMMMMMM?]
[He's looking between the two, confused.]
What happened earlier?
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Care to enlighten the man?
[ This is not how to get in good graces, sir. ]
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No, I do not care to.
[You shouldn't have phrased it like a question.]
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[>8I]
Answer, Van Zieks. What did you do?
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.... I may have acted slightly rashly in a fit of possessiveness.
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[FOLDING HIS ARMS. DISAPPOINTED.]
Do explain.
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