sholmes catchall

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[ He shifts to wrap the arm that isn't around Irene to wrap around the back of Sholmes' head and hold him so close, turning his head to kiss the top of Sholmes' before burying his face in his hair. ]

I'm so sorry... She's out there, though. Alive. Waiting for you... waiting for us. We'll get back to her and you can hug her and tell her how much you love her. We'll protect her together, Sholmes. I'll never let anything hurt you again once we're out of here.

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[He's continuing to sob. It's a lot. All these weeks, suddenly, one after the other, and it feels like...a great detective can't save everyone. He can't solve everything.]

[He can't. He can't. He can't.]

I-I know it wasn't real... [His voice is hoarse.] So I know I'll...see her again.

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Having been there last week, I know it feels real. I know it hurts. The pain is so, so real, Sholmes.

[ He knows he can't erase that pain. And he knows he's had his own light almost flicker out, but he's had Sholmes there every time beside him. He has his role to keep going. He cannot stop. And he wants Sholmes to be okay. ]

We're so close to the end. I'll do everything in my power to protect you. To save you and our worlds. But I want you to know, Sholmes. I believe in you. I believe in every bit of you. I know you feel weak... I felt the same. But you're stronger than you realize.

[ He kisses the top of his head. ]

But you're allowed to be as vulnerable as you want here. I'll make sure nothing else can hurt you. Cry all you need. Lean on me as much as you want. You've got such a pure heart and soul... and I don't want you to lose that. I don't want this place to break you.

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...

[Kotetsu is really...such a good man.]

[His soul feels like its still in turmoil. Iris died. Rika died. And he was helpless, both times.]

I've committed so many sins, and I'll...never be absolved of them. [A shake of the head.] I don't feel pure.

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You have not, Sholmes.

[ He nuzzles his face against Sholmes' head. ]

Let me put it this way... If I was forced in your spot, would you be blaming me for what happened? Do you blame everyone the Angels control to commit these murders?

If you're a sinner... if you're impure, then I'm going to that hell right with you. My hands took the life of Bertolt, Sholmes. That wasn't even an illusion. That wasn't me being controlled. That was a choice I had to make.

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Please don't go to hell with me.

[He says, quietly.]

I couldn't bear that. And you were...given no choice. It was your life or his. So, please.

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I'm never leaving your side, Sholmes. Where you go, I'll be with you.

[ He moves his arm so that he can brush his fingers through his hair. ]

If you're willing to forgive me that sin, then I'm wondering what sins you're talking about that can't be forgiven.

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[He just sighs at the touch to his hair. He feels so small. Like a hare in a dark, dark burrow.]

I couldn't save Miss Rika. I tried so hard, along with Allen and Mr. Joonghyuk. I feel like...I failed her.

She died alone, in that terrible cage.

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Do you blame them, too? Do you think they're also hellbound?

[ He won't leave him. Never. All he hopes is that he can give him some kind of light so he doesn't keep holding this weight alone. ]

Should I be blaming myself like this over A-Qing dying? For choosing to try to save my daughter and leaving her behind? And ultimately failing that?

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....

[He presses his face against the crook of the other's neck.]

No. For any of those questions.

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Then don't carry this alone. It isn't your sin. This whole war is to blame. I won't let a beautiful, bright star like you get destroyed by them, Sholmes. I know you don't feel that and you might not believe me, but... please trust me.

I have your soul in my arms, Sholmes. I have felt the depths of your feelings. I have seen you fight so hard. You've shown me parts you've never showed anyone. And the same for me to you. I have faith in you. I will never regret that I've put my life in your hands by sharing my secrets.

[ He holds him so tenderly. Both parts of him. Body and soul. ]

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[He's so silent for a long time after hearing those words.]

[Irene nuzzles against the other's chest, safe. Comforted.]

[His words are so quiet, meant for Kotetsu, and Kotetsu alone.]

I love you so very much.

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[ He can't help the soft smile at those words. His fingers gently petting Irene. ]

The same to you, Sholmes...

[ Finley nuzzles Sholmes, warm and affectionate. ]

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[He shifts his head back to just look in the man's eyes.]

[And then kisses him on the forehead. Kisses him on the cheeks, on either side. Kisses him on the nose. Then on the mouth. The chin.]

[Gently placing them, like marking him as his treasure.

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[ He gladly takes all the kisses, giving a soft returned kiss when he meets him with his lips.

But that hint of a smile drops. ]

Sholmes... I hate to do this to you. When you've just got your footing. I need to tell you about the missing person.

But you'd be mad if I waited any longer.

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The...missing person?

[Oh.]

[Right.]

What...what day is it, anyways?

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...It's Friday. You've been gone for almost two days.

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...Goodness.

[what is TIME]

Then...tell me. Who is...who is gone?

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[ He looks so guilty and so bad saying this. ]

Susato. She's missing. And... we think she's still alive, but we've had people looking. We're sure we can't see her because of the perception being altered. I... Sholmes, I'm so, so sorry.

Maybe I should have told you first, but I couldn't. Not with how hollow you looked.

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[His face falls, instantly.]

A-AGAIN?!

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[ He nods, weakly and moves his hands to Sholmes' face. ]

All we can do is hope she lasts until tomorrow morning. We'll go to the ice mazes immediately to find her. That's what it sounds like, at least. I'll make sure to bring my items. Maybe... we can hope that one of them can save her life.

[ He doesn't know if it'll work, but he wants to believe. But what happens to the trial if that happens...? Who knows. ]

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Miss Susato...

[No....no.............]

[Why her?]

[Why her, of all people?]

W-Why is this happening again...?

[He's trembling. What is wrong with these people who have it out for her?]

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[ This is absolutely the worst. Sholmes having to experience losing Iris and now the daughter of the man he was waiting for so long...? ]

I don't know. I don't know why any of this. But please... please... don't let this place break you.

We'll get them back, remember? I'll do whatever it takes to get them all back. Fix all of this.

[ He leans to kiss his forehead, then down his nose. ]

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I...

[He closes his eyes as Kotetsu kisses him, and he doesn't know how to feel. Lost. Angry. In despair.]

[Another day, another trial.]

[His arms wrap around the other man, and he lets out a shaky, weak sigh.]

We have to.

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[ He returns the favor, making sure not to crush Irene. And, in fact, Finley is leaning her head over to pick up the girl so they can be closer. While minding Sholmes' injury, of course. Finley snuggles back in against Sholmes, immediately starting to groom Irene once they're settled in like this. ]

I promise you. I know it's hard to believe, but... they say it's always darkest right before dawn, right? Let's hold out for that light.

[ And he plants a few more kisses on Sholmes. ]

Hold on to that. You've helped me to keep believing that.