...When I told him that he was as human as the rest of us, he just said I didn't know him at all. But...I've seen his memories. talked to him. The way he went around all that yesterday was...horrible.
[He shakes his head, unbelieving. Still, the image of the man shooting his own daemon...]
But it doesn't excuse a single thing I just saw, there.
No. No, it doesn't. Whatever intention Diluc had there... we saw what happened the week before. All he was doing was drawing it out and causing more pain. More misery. It hurts being the one that ends another's life... but that was just beyond cruel.
I'm so angry he didn't learn anything from the prior weeks. Let a person die with dignity.
[ The empty sound in his voice is starting to be replaced with anger. So much anger. How could he do that? ]
The fact that his loved ones had to watch him go through that and then ending like that...why I don't even think...he was truly meaning to protect himself. Someone must have had some sort of ability.
[ He pulls a little at Sholmes. Join him on the bed to cuddle a little. He knows he doesn't have an extensive amount of time, but he wants to be able to hold him close like that. ]
Selfish. The entire thing was so, so selfish... If Diluc hadn't been protected, he might have turned out to be the victim. This whole thing... this whole show today is exactly the kind of thing they want. Stupid, senseless.
I don't know... I hope I'll have more answers after the role meeting and talking to the other roles. I know I have to leave soon, but let me just relax a little first.
[ Finley needs some time to recover, too, before leading him to the location anyway. But he lowers his eyes a bit, not meeting Sholmes' eyes. ]
... In the fairness of us trying to be honest with each other, we should probably talk about what happened. Better not to let things fester because I don't want that kind of thing to happen with us.
Did you really think I'd put everyone in danger, Sholmes? I know you said you didn't think I'd do that, but you were fearful... fearful of what exactly?
I'm... I'm so tired of that kind of thing. Being voted for a crime I didn't commit. Being told by someone I thought I could start trusting that they more or less think I have a hand in killing A-Qing. And that... Maybe it was easier when I was just trying to protect everyone instead.
Kotetsu. You told me in the beginning that you had an ability you could use. And then, without even a single word of warning, you start stalking off as if you're planning on making something happened. Whatever happened to, well, simply telling me what you were going to do? "I'm going to talk to Baraqiel, my dear!" "Perfect!" I would've said! But no! Not a word until I stopped you. Come now.
[He reaches up to brush over the other's bangs. Someone thought he killed A-Qing...? He sighs.]
I did not think you were going to put everyone in danger. What I was worried is that you were going to repeat the same mistake I did the other day, with that ability I wasted. It seemed as if there was some plan afoot, and I was concerned that if you used whatever ability you had, you would either waste the thing or disrupt whatever plan may have been in action, and potentially upset the balance of things. I made my mistake. I didn't want to let you make yours.
[ Now he feels like a hell and just feels sad again. But yeah, he messed up there and he shoves his face against Sholmes' chest. All he does is mumble against him. ]
Sorry. I haven't been very fair to you these last few days. At the trial, at the execution. You deserve better than that.
[ He lightly nuzzles his chest and then lifts his head to look at him straight on, close in proximity. ]
I won't shut you out. I can't promise I won't do that to the others... but we've come too far for that to happen. I've trusted you from the start and I won't stop now. I can only hope you trust me just as deeply.
[ Honesty week is great for these things because while they are honest with each other... this just solidifies their honesty. ]
I do trust you just as deeply. Which is...a lot for one such as myself to say. To even give one mote of trust to others already is quite an ordeal. I am the one who acts behind the scenes, after all, for the most part, even as I dance on stage for the crowd.
[He nods.]
I have trusted you, and I will continue to trust you. I never want to lead you astray with my words. Not now, not ever.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[He shakes his head, unbelieving. Still, the image of the man shooting his own daemon...]
But it doesn't excuse a single thing I just saw, there.
no subject
I'm so angry he didn't learn anything from the prior weeks. Let a person die with dignity.
[ The empty sound in his voice is starting to be replaced with anger. So much anger. How could he do that? ]
no subject
[His fingers clasp in the other's hair.]
Overall...it was...foolish, to say the least.
no subject
Selfish. The entire thing was so, so selfish... If Diluc hadn't been protected, he might have turned out to be the victim. This whole thing... this whole show today is exactly the kind of thing they want. Stupid, senseless.
no subject
[And its good that he's alive. He never wanted him to die, not for a moment. But this was too much.]
[It should have been over so much quicker.]
What's done is done, though. Tomorrow is a new day. A new world. We can...only move forward.
no subject
The last world. The beginning of whatever end we're coming to.
no subject
Mmm. The end of everything...I wonder what that will be like?
no subject
I don't know... I hope I'll have more answers after the role meeting and talking to the other roles. I know I have to leave soon, but let me just relax a little first.
[ Finley needs some time to recover, too, before leading him to the location anyway. But he lowers his eyes a bit, not meeting Sholmes' eyes. ]
... In the fairness of us trying to be honest with each other, we should probably talk about what happened. Better not to let things fester because I don't want that kind of thing to happen with us.
Did you really think I'd put everyone in danger, Sholmes? I know you said you didn't think I'd do that, but you were fearful... fearful of what exactly?
I'm... I'm so tired of that kind of thing. Being voted for a crime I didn't commit. Being told by someone I thought I could start trusting that they more or less think I have a hand in killing A-Qing. And that... Maybe it was easier when I was just trying to protect everyone instead.
[ He sounds very hurt! ]
no subject
[And........ah. Yes. What happened before.]
[He just stares at him for a moment.]
Kotetsu. You told me in the beginning that you had an ability you could use. And then, without even a single word of warning, you start stalking off as if you're planning on making something happened. Whatever happened to, well, simply telling me what you were going to do? "I'm going to talk to Baraqiel, my dear!" "Perfect!" I would've said! But no! Not a word until I stopped you. Come now.
[He reaches up to brush over the other's bangs. Someone thought he killed A-Qing...? He sighs.]
I did not think you were going to put everyone in danger. What I was worried is that you were going to repeat the same mistake I did the other day, with that ability I wasted. It seemed as if there was some plan afoot, and I was concerned that if you used whatever ability you had, you would either waste the thing or disrupt whatever plan may have been in action, and potentially upset the balance of things. I made my mistake. I didn't want to let you make yours.
no subject
Sorry. I haven't been very fair to you these last few days. At the trial, at the execution. You deserve better than that.
no subject
[He embraces the man, lowering his head to kiss him on top of his head.]
All I want is for you to talk to me, that's all. Its been so hard on you. If you shut yourself up, how can I help you?
no subject
I won't shut you out. I can't promise I won't do that to the others... but we've come too far for that to happen. I've trusted you from the start and I won't stop now. I can only hope you trust me just as deeply.
[ Honesty week is great for these things because while they are honest with each other... this just solidifies their honesty. ]
no subject
[Another kiss, this time to his forehead.]
I do trust you just as deeply. Which is...a lot for one such as myself to say. To even give one mote of trust to others already is quite an ordeal. I am the one who acts behind the scenes, after all, for the most part, even as I dance on stage for the crowd.
[He nods.]
I have trusted you, and I will continue to trust you. I never want to lead you astray with my words. Not now, not ever.
no subject
[ He tilts his head up to give Sholmes a very light kiss, then sighs against his lips. ]
I never want my words to hurt you or... well, lead you astray.
no subject
[He smiles into the kiss he gives in return.]
What a delight it is, to be in love with someone like you.
no subject
Sholmes... thank you...