sholmes catchall

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[greatdeduction]

I'm...

[A shuddering exhale.]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you.

[Please. Don't go.]

I didn't think...I've done this for sixteen years. Taste is an important sense of the body, you know, and I deemed it safe enough to confirm. But...

[...]

I didn't think about the repercussions, or what it could mean. I just...didn't think at all.

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[ He isn't pulling away. Nor is he leaving, but his body is tense. He's so stressed out and upset and he doesn't want to take all the anger out on Sholmes. It's... everything that happened.

It's just that was his snapping point. ]

You're right. You didn't think at all. And I couldn't even say a damn thing in there, either.

[greatdeduction]

I know.

[The secrets one has to keep...to not even be able to reach for the one you love, is...]

[It's torture.]

[His eyes are watering.]

I'm sorry. I won't do it again. [...] You made a promise you'd never leave me. Its horrible of me to hear that and...put myself in danger. I was sure I wouldn't be, but that's not enough...

[A shake of the head.]

Please. Forgive me.

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[ Slowly he turns, his body still tense. Anxious. Angry.

He's finally looking at him now. He doesn't reach out to him. Not yet. He needs to calm down first. He takes in a slow breath, trying to even himself and he closes his eyes. ]

Promise me. Just promise me you won't do that again.

[greatdeduction]

[It's sort of unusual.]

[This isn't anything new. He's eaten things, drunk things, danced in dangerous area, leapt into criminal hideouts, and that's how it always was. That's what a great detective should do.]

[He's the only one who could do such a thing. That's how it goes.]

[So to see people upset instead of waving it off as the quirk of a famous detective like him, is...]

[Unexpected.]

[Because...they don't care for the great detective. They care for the man who plays as him.]

[He nods, swallowing. His grip tightens, slightly.]

I promise. I promise I'll never do anything like that again.

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[ Slowly, Kotetsu raises his free hand up to touch Sholmes' cheek. There's a slight trembling there. The tenseness in his body relaxes just a little, but there's still an edge. ]

I couldn't stand the thought of losing you. Not after everything we've been through together.

[greatdeduction]

[He stares at the other for a long moment.]

[And just leans his face against that touch. He can't help it.]

...We live in evil times, my dear. [He's...also shuddering.] But no matter what, we have to...we have to survive them.

[They have to.]

So I...won't put myself in danger like that, intentionally. That's spitting on everything you've ever given me. I won't do that.

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[ He nods a little, stepping closer to Sholmes and drops his head on Sholmes' shoulder and lets out a low sigh. His shoulders slump as he lets out some of the tension. ]

I've promised not to leave you... but I don't want anything happening to you, either. You might want to protect me, but I... I want to do the same for you.

I didn't mean to get so angry... to scare you. The thought of something happening... I...

[ He shakes his head against his shoulder. ]

[greatdeduction]

No, no. Please. Don't apologize.

[His grip releases from the man's wrist to embrace him, some of the nervous tension in his own body subsiding, too.]

I didn't realize it. I may have Iris, but...I've never really thought about myself in that way. As someone worth protecting. Some days it feels like a great detective is immortal.

[...]

I suppose I learned the other day that I'm anything but.

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Seeing you like that...

[ He swallows hard. They both have trauma from that, I guess. His hand comes up to rest on the back of Sholmes' head, holding him close. ]

You're a great detective and I have faith in you. You've made it this far? I... don't trust this place. We're working with things we don't know, Sholmes. What you're familiar with... Everything's so alien here.

[ He isn't a chemist. He doesn't know the brilliant things that go on in Sholmes' mind. He could never know. But with all these unknown forces at work... It's hard not to be afraid. ]

[greatdeduction]

Yes. I feel the same.

[Where there's so little that's truly certain. Where the people around you could become enemies. Could become killers. And not even because they wanted to.]

[He leans into the other man, just...enjoying the feeling of his body here, so physical, so real. A soul that he's put his world into.]

...Some days, you know, I wish you didn't have that knife. [He murmurs, quietly, blinking away tears.] Ignorance is bliss, after all.

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I have my moments, but I don't know if I'd want to put this burden on anyone else.

[ His other arm slips around Sholmes, holding him closer. ]

It's hard. I want to trust the others. Everyone. But with what keeps happening... Innocent people dying... I'm finding it harder. With you, though... I trust you. Maybe that's why I panicked so much when you did that.

[ He turns his head to press his face against Sholmes' neck. ]

If you want me to, I can ask if they can find someone else.

[greatdeduction]

I trust you, too. More intimately than anyone here.

[Even more than Van Zieks and Susato. Even more than them.]

[He's touched Kotetsu's soul, and his in turn.]

[There's nothing closer than that.]

No. As much as one wishes...I can't say we should. Burden it may be, but it is ours to bear. You may wield it, but I am here to help you hold it up. That's what I've accepted from the moment you've told me about it.

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[ He nods to that, accepting the answer. They are in this deep, after all. ]

Then we carry this weight together.

[ He nuzzles his neck just a bit more. And then, a little more quiet. Showing more vulnerability. It's his time to have his eyes feel damp. With the anger leaving him, he feels ... tired. And in pain. ]

...Sholmes. I'm so tired. And I know tomorrow is going to be so much worse.

[greatdeduction]

I know it will be.

[Because he has a sinking feeling of who, exactly, may be chosen to do the deed. He strokes over the other's back, reassuringly.]

We just have to remind ourselves that...the dead can be saved, potentially. No matter what happens, they're somewhere we could possibly reach. We have to live on that hope.

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[ He soaks up that feeling of reassurance. ]

You're right... [ He plants a soft kiss on his neck. ]

I don't know if I could have made it through this without your support.

[greatdeduction]

Hah. I could say the same to you.

[His fingers reach up to tickle the back of the other's neck.]

That's what partners are for each other, after all.

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[ There's a small shiver that runs down his spine from that touch. ]

Yeah... [ His arms tighten on him. ] Is it selfish of me to ask you to stay with me tonight? I don't know... where. And I know we'll be together tomorrow, but...

[greatdeduction]

It wouldn't be selfish if I asked the same thing of you, would it? So it isn't.

[He presses a kiss against his cheek.]

Somewhere. Anywhere. I don't care.

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[ He lets out a soft sigh, comforted by that. ]

I don't care, either. I just want to be with you. I need it.

[greatdeduction]

Let's try to figure out a place, then. I don't suppose we could stay in your room.

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I probably shouldn't kick my roommate out again after Thursday. And I'm guessing your room isn't an option.

[greatdeduction]

[He shakes his head.]

No, I don't think Mr. Akira would appreciate it, all that much. So...will we have to repeat what we did a week ago, then?

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Probably. We can look for a place. I do want to stop by my room. Get my stuff.

[ To get all of his things. He's also going to neglect to mention what happened during the investigation. Now isn't the time for it. ]

[greatdeduction]

Oh, of course. Whatever you need.

[<------has no idea what happened on investigation. ignorance is bliss]