sholmes catchall

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[greatdeduction]

Well, I was myself, but...at times, my mind would feel like a fog. Like it was being overwritten. For moments at a time, I would look at children and just see....numbers, instead.

[Haha!]

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[ He frowns deeply and takes Sholmes' face in his hands once again and makes sure Sholmes is looking at him. ]

That wasn't you. I don't know why this place keeps doing this to you... I hate it.

[ There's a bitterness to his voice. Not that he wants anyone to suffer this, but Sholmes... He already has enough pain. Enough guilt. ]

Is that why you said... that you didn't do everything you could for Rika?

[greatdeduction]

...Oh, no. That was...later.

[There's something fearful, distant in his eyes. He's starting to mentally detach himself again, even with Kotetsu's touch to his cheeks.]

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Sholmes... what happened?

[ He... doesn't want to force it. But also, he doesn't think it's good for him to keep it inside. Even if the others were there, he wants him to help in whatever way he can. ]

[greatdeduction]

I know it...I know it wasn't real. I know it wasn't.

[He's shaking, now.]

Iris was...Iris died, and I...contributed to that, I didn't recognize her, and she...

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[ He feels that like a stab through the heart. The fact that this place made him do it. ]

Sholmes... No. No, no... How dare they.

[ At this, Finley is nudging Irene toward the pair, setting her between the two men and settling to rest against Sholmes' back and puts her chin on his shoulder, wanting to protect him with every fiber of her. Wanting so dearly to help him in any way. She noses sadly at him. ]

You... please. I know you'd rather die than let anything happen to her. That wasn't you. That wasn't her.

[ He moves one of his hands to help adjust Irene between them so as to hold her, keeping the other hand on Sholmes. ]

[greatdeduction]

[Irene shifts into hare form and instantly moves to nuzzle against the other man's chest, making herself small. Sholmes just shakes his head, like he's dazed.]

I gained my sanity but for a moment, but when I and Mr. Joonghyuk moved to knock everyone out, there was a...question on the monitor to stop the process, stop her from being separated from her daemon, and I...I didn't know, I couldn't think, and it was all...

[It was all over.]

[Just like that.]

[His chest heaves with quiet sobs as he presses his face against the other's shoulder.]

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[ He shifts to wrap the arm that isn't around Irene to wrap around the back of Sholmes' head and hold him so close, turning his head to kiss the top of Sholmes' before burying his face in his hair. ]

I'm so sorry... She's out there, though. Alive. Waiting for you... waiting for us. We'll get back to her and you can hug her and tell her how much you love her. We'll protect her together, Sholmes. I'll never let anything hurt you again once we're out of here.

[greatdeduction]

[He's continuing to sob. It's a lot. All these weeks, suddenly, one after the other, and it feels like...a great detective can't save everyone. He can't solve everything.]

[He can't. He can't. He can't.]

I-I know it wasn't real... [His voice is hoarse.] So I know I'll...see her again.

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Having been there last week, I know it feels real. I know it hurts. The pain is so, so real, Sholmes.

[ He knows he can't erase that pain. And he knows he's had his own light almost flicker out, but he's had Sholmes there every time beside him. He has his role to keep going. He cannot stop. And he wants Sholmes to be okay. ]

We're so close to the end. I'll do everything in my power to protect you. To save you and our worlds. But I want you to know, Sholmes. I believe in you. I believe in every bit of you. I know you feel weak... I felt the same. But you're stronger than you realize.

[ He kisses the top of his head. ]

But you're allowed to be as vulnerable as you want here. I'll make sure nothing else can hurt you. Cry all you need. Lean on me as much as you want. You've got such a pure heart and soul... and I don't want you to lose that. I don't want this place to break you.

[greatdeduction]

...

[Kotetsu is really...such a good man.]

[His soul feels like its still in turmoil. Iris died. Rika died. And he was helpless, both times.]

I've committed so many sins, and I'll...never be absolved of them. [A shake of the head.] I don't feel pure.

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You have not, Sholmes.

[ He nuzzles his face against Sholmes' head. ]

Let me put it this way... If I was forced in your spot, would you be blaming me for what happened? Do you blame everyone the Angels control to commit these murders?

If you're a sinner... if you're impure, then I'm going to that hell right with you. My hands took the life of Bertolt, Sholmes. That wasn't even an illusion. That wasn't me being controlled. That was a choice I had to make.

[greatdeduction]

Please don't go to hell with me.

[He says, quietly.]

I couldn't bear that. And you were...given no choice. It was your life or his. So, please.

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I'm never leaving your side, Sholmes. Where you go, I'll be with you.

[ He moves his arm so that he can brush his fingers through his hair. ]

If you're willing to forgive me that sin, then I'm wondering what sins you're talking about that can't be forgiven.

[greatdeduction]

[He just sighs at the touch to his hair. He feels so small. Like a hare in a dark, dark burrow.]

I couldn't save Miss Rika. I tried so hard, along with Allen and Mr. Joonghyuk. I feel like...I failed her.

She died alone, in that terrible cage.

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Do you blame them, too? Do you think they're also hellbound?

[ He won't leave him. Never. All he hopes is that he can give him some kind of light so he doesn't keep holding this weight alone. ]

Should I be blaming myself like this over A-Qing dying? For choosing to try to save my daughter and leaving her behind? And ultimately failing that?

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....

[He presses his face against the crook of the other's neck.]

No. For any of those questions.

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Then don't carry this alone. It isn't your sin. This whole war is to blame. I won't let a beautiful, bright star like you get destroyed by them, Sholmes. I know you don't feel that and you might not believe me, but... please trust me.

I have your soul in my arms, Sholmes. I have felt the depths of your feelings. I have seen you fight so hard. You've shown me parts you've never showed anyone. And the same for me to you. I have faith in you. I will never regret that I've put my life in your hands by sharing my secrets.

[ He holds him so tenderly. Both parts of him. Body and soul. ]

[greatdeduction]

[He's so silent for a long time after hearing those words.]

[Irene nuzzles against the other's chest, safe. Comforted.]

[His words are so quiet, meant for Kotetsu, and Kotetsu alone.]

I love you so very much.

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[ He can't help the soft smile at those words. His fingers gently petting Irene. ]

The same to you, Sholmes...

[ Finley nuzzles Sholmes, warm and affectionate. ]

[greatdeduction]

[He shifts his head back to just look in the man's eyes.]

[And then kisses him on the forehead. Kisses him on the cheeks, on either side. Kisses him on the nose. Then on the mouth. The chin.]

[Gently placing them, like marking him as his treasure.

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[ He gladly takes all the kisses, giving a soft returned kiss when he meets him with his lips.

But that hint of a smile drops. ]

Sholmes... I hate to do this to you. When you've just got your footing. I need to tell you about the missing person.

But you'd be mad if I waited any longer.

[greatdeduction]

The...missing person?

[Oh.]

[Right.]

What...what day is it, anyways?

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...It's Friday. You've been gone for almost two days.

[greatdeduction]

...Goodness.

[what is TIME]

Then...tell me. Who is...who is gone?