sholmes catchall

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[greatdeduction]

...

[He listens to all of that quietly. Kotetsu's wife...yes. A deep source of pain. He can understand that. But understanding doesn't make it easier.]

[He just runs a hand down his face. He feels..,tired to his core.]

I repeat myself, Mr. Kotetsu. I have...nothing to offer you.

[He doesn't think he can. Why would he? He may be a great detective, but that's hardly something notable in circumstances like this.]

I don't think I have the happiness you deserve to reach out for.

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[ He reaches out to take Sholmes' hand. He knows it might be very personal to touch him like that, but the touch is... soft. Akin to what he'd shown him over the last two days, but not as intimately toned. ]

That's the assumption you keep going on. Like you're expecting me to want something grand or some kind of show. I've seen under that mask of yours and I wasn't disappointed in what I saw.

If anything, that's what made me stick around.

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There's no mask.

[Of course not.]

[He looks down at their hands. His own grip is still loose.]

If you keep looking at a man who will always look at another, how will you be happy?

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[ Oh, of course there isn't. ]

I'd be making my own choice and went with what I thought was right.

[ An idiot that is all for self-sacrifice. This shouldn't be that surprising. ]

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You'll just make yourself suffer.

[His eyebrows are furrowed.]

Why would you want that for yourself?

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Maybe it's because of those lack of brains.

[ It's said a little wryly. ]

I don't know if I can really answer that in a way you want. Maybe I'll suffer, but I'm pretty resilient. I can handle a lot.

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Yes, you're an idiot.

[Now that is said a little more harshly.]

Don't...make decisions based on some trick of the mind. Save yourself. Look towards better horizons.

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That's kind of my point here. Sure, I hate the fact that something did that to me, but it doesn't mean I wasn't acting on my own toward you.

[ His hand tightens on Sholmes'. ]

I've had my memories messed with before, I'm pretty sure I know what I'm talking about with making my choices.

[ He brings his other hand up to wrap around Sholmes' hand. ]

I also don't want to run away from what might be the right direction just because you think it'll hurt me.

[greatdeduction]

...

[He's gritting his teeth now.]

There is no right direction here! How many times do I have to tell you this, man? You might as well tell yourself that as you run off a cliff!

[He's trying to tug out of that grip now.]

Smash your heart into two for all I care. But don't do so on account of me.

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[ His grip tightens a bit. He'd been giving in every time so far, but right now, he insists on keeping that hold. His gaze is firmly set on him.

Finley is also staring hard at him, her whole body tense, showing he's not as relaxed as he tries to present. ]

Why are you so upset if this is my choice? I'm not telling me to look back at me. I'm just saying I'll be there anyway.

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[He opens his mouth.]

[He closes it.]

[And then frustrated, he opens it again. Irene, sitting nearby, has her ears flattened against her body.]

...Because...because people have been hurt when I'd inadvertently looked over things. And to have you behind me means that...

[Again, a pause, Again, he's trying to tug away.]

I'm not going to chance such a thing.

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[ Nope, he's not letting go, sir. He refuses. ]

You think I don't carry that same regret? I've let people down. Lives have been lost because I couldn't do more.

Just because you're a great detective, that doesn't mean you can see everything. You're still human. You've still got those flaws just like the rest of us.

[ Then, a bit softer. ]

I'm able to handle myself. And this way, at least I can watch your back.

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...

[He doesn't want flaws, thank you very much. And this is all some grand mess of a web he's somehow pulled this man into.]

There's nothing you will get in return.

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[ Well, too bad. And he realizes he has those flaws. Like, actual flaws. ]

That's fine with me.

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[His shoulders slump.]

[His tone just sounds...almost helpless.]

You're a fool.

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That's just in my nature.

[ His grip eases up a little on that hand, but he hasn't let go just yet. ]

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Is there...nothing I can do to convince you?

[Like please. PLEASE REGRET YOUR DECISION.]

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[ He stands up and stares at him, close in proximity. ]

Not anymore.

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...Then pity on the both of us, then.

[He pulls his hand out of that grip, his stare sharp...and then reaches up to touch the man's cheek, briefly.]

[But that's all. He turns, displeased, and makes to walk out of the room.]

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[ Before Sholmes can escape, Kotetsu is catching his arm. ]

You don't plan on avoiding me now, do you?

[ He just needs to ask that much. ]

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...I don't know.

[He really doesn't know.]

I will do all I can to get the both of us home. If you need my assistance, then I shall be there.

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[ He sighs, letting go of his arm. ]

You can rely on me for that, too. Don't just burden yourself alone.

[ Then, a bit quieter. ]

Or anything else. I'm going to make it a point to check on you.

[ A thorn in the side, if you will. ]

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I'll be fine.

[And a look back at him.]

Take care of yourself, no matter what. For my sake, at least.

[...He turns away.]

Come along, Irene. The game's afoot, yes?

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[ Maybe he'll let him leave one day. But all these mixed messages are just killing him. His instincts at yelling at him to just grab him. To stop him.

Both his hands grab onto Sholmes' arms, holding him there from behind. ]

You minute you're telling me to jump off a cliff for all you care. Now you're telling me to do it for your sake.

[ His head drops against the back of Sholme's neck, giving a small laugh. ]

Maybe I'm just not getting it, but something in my gut is telling me not to let you leave just yet.

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[He freezes, body stiffening at the other's hands on him, head against his neck. He's silent for a good moment.]

...Let me go.

[He says, quietly.]

I simply want you to be happy.

[Just obviously not with him. There's no happiness there.]