[ He wants to hug him. He wants to hug him so bad... so he doesn't care about the blood that's soaking him. Unfortunately for him, he has no idea what this will bring forth.
He feels the pain of being slashes across the front by that monster all over again. More severe than he felt it at the time because of the power and adrenaline that was coursing through him.
He recoils away from Sholmes, sharp enough that he falls on the ground. His body reliving not only the physical trauma, but snapping him right back to that moment. He holds his hand over his chest, shoulders heaving as he breathes heavy. ]
[ Maybe if this pain wasn't so strongly associated with that memory he wouldn't have reacted so sharply and while Finley is okay, the emotional trauma she feels makes her dart away from Irene and hide behind Kotetsu.
His hands start to shake a bit, shaking his head and trying to break himself from the pain, but more so from the image that's haunting him now. He can hear her screaming all over again. ]
[He manages to lifts his head, shaking like a leaf, before he leans forward - he falls onto his knees on the ground, and crawls over to Kotetsu, his concern for him outweighing his pain.]
Kotetsu.... [He reaches out to grasp his hand.] Kotetsu, I-I'm here, Kotetsu....
[ That hand... he instantly grabs back at Sholmes as if he's trying to ground himself with that simple touch.
He lifts his gaze to try to focus on Sholmes, chest rising and falling sharply as he's trying desperately to calm down. His free hand weakly reaches out to touch Sholmes' cheek. ]
[ He laughs, bitterly and lets his head drop down. The pressure weakens on the touch to Sholmes' cheek and his hand. It's a good thing Sholmes is holding both, though.
He can't help the tears forming and dropping down to his lap. Maybe this is self-pity and wallowing, but he's so sick of this. He's always lived by the motto to keep going, no matter what. That even if you unplug the power, you do things manually. Never give up.
He feels like he can't even help Sholmes with his problems right now. He can even hold him close. ]
I shouldn't have. I can't... I can't even help you. What am I even doing?
[ He can feel Finley butting against his back, trying to burrow, but she can't. It's not like he can pull her back inside of him. ]
I... You're the one that's hurting. Don't worry about me.
[ He swallows hard, trying to shove all of that back down into the pit of his stomach. Sholmes went through so much shit today, he doesn't need to bring up more or make it about himself. ]
They were attacking me, too. I got their attention off of Kaede. Finley helped. One of them went after me... One of them went after Finley. Until I was unable to fight. The one left me to go after Kaede.
Finley... She's...
[ He takes in a breath to even himself. ]
I died because Finley was killed. [ He looks to the side, fixing his gaze on a single point. ] I felt my soul being torn to shreds and couldn't do anything to stop it.
[ Finley's shivering eases as she burrows against Sholmes, soaking up that attention and love. A shiver runs through Kotetsu as that feeling soothes him. Some of the tension in his body eases. Perhaps it's not a direct touch, but this is much more intimate than that.
After what happened, it should be very obvious how much it means that Kotetsu lets anyone touch his soul, daemon or otherwise. That lingering fear of her getting hurt and that pain that is felt through their bond. ]
It's fine... It was harder to see Kaede dying while Finley turned to dust.
[ He sure did die at the same time as his "daughter." Helpless from the pain of his soul being damaged, watching both of them being torn to pieces and unable to do anything.
[ There's a weak nod, but he leans a bit to at least rest against Sholmes some. He was fine when they were shoulder to shoulder, so it's likely... connected to the injuries. They'd have to be careful if they wanted to be close. ]
I know... I know... You're here with me.
[ He shifts a bit, trying to reach out toward Irene. While he can't pull her close to his chest, he wants to hold her anyway.
Finley relaxes more in Sholmes' touch, the last of the shivering easing out. She's safe. She feels so safe and protected here. ]
[He leans back a little against Kotetsu, happy to provide him something, anything, After the weight of today, feeling like a failure...he can't fail at this. He just can't. He presses a kiss against Finley's head.]
[Irene shifts - this time, into her beagle form, not one she usually turns into. She allows herself to be hugged, whimpering, and licks at Kotetsu's face. Sholmes sighs - it feels so warm, deep inside, to be held like this.]
[ This comfort. From both Sholmes and his soul... it's like being wrapped in a warm blanket on a cold, harsh day. He lets his head lean back a little to rest against Sholmes'.
He pets Irene's head gently, accepting the kisses when she gives them and giving her a soft kiss on the nose. He's trying to be careful with the wound, not wanting to trigger that again for either of them. He settles her down into his lap to cradle her against his stomach, petting gently. ]
[He looks up just a little bit from where he's mostly focused on Finley, just trying to enjoy the warmth and feelings here as best as he can. Irene is more than happy to deliver happy dog kisses until she's moved into his lap, where she turns and sits, tail wagging.]
[ He gently pets Irene, glad to see her tail wagging like that.
In their position, he tries to nuzzle at Sholmes the best he can, but it's a pretty failed attempt from this angle. At least he tried. ]
I love you. And you continue to be my personal hero. Finley's afraid of being touched even by fellow daemons at this point and here you are holding her so softly in your arms. She feels safe. Secure. You're the only one that could do that.
[ He's far from being recovered from that trauma, but... sitting here with Sholmes? He feels some semblance of normal once again. ]
[He's silent for a moment, just letting those words sink in.]
He said my actions had caused grievous harm to others. Namely Baraqiel. The man is fond of them, as you are probably aware. By keeping this secret between us, and then hounding down other roles, I apparently had broken Mr. Escardos's two person limit, which causes the Watchers to weaken. Even if I didn't know, it still happened, as a result of my actions. He said to not beg for empathy and forgiveness from him, but from our masked benefactors.
[And a sigh.]
And apparently, earlier, when I had told him whether he could understand having someone you would fight for, he thought I was talking down to him, as if he was a child. Really, I wasn't... [A shake of the head.] But then, when I brought up how he had hounded you for a role, and inadvertently became your second person to hit the limit, he became rather cross, and said my argument didn't make sense, since he was invited by Mr. Lowell to that meeting, and to never speak to him in that tone of voice again.
He said he forgave me, but it felt like quite a coldly given forgiveness. The man is as fiercely defensive of his loved ones as I am. So I do not know...how in the world I'll get back in his good graces again.
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[...]
[Sorry, Kotetsu, even after all of that he's just leaning forward and crying silently into his hands.]
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He feels the pain of being slashes across the front by that monster all over again. More severe than he felt it at the time because of the power and adrenaline that was coursing through him.
He recoils away from Sholmes, sharp enough that he falls on the ground. His body reliving not only the physical trauma, but snapping him right back to that moment. He holds his hand over his chest, shoulders heaving as he breathes heavy. ]
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[Oh, that is BAD that is SUPER BAD - and then it hits. He buckles over, pain erupting over his own chest.]
[He doesn't fall over like Kotetsu does, but he buckles, his whole body shuddering from the sheer agony that he's feeling.]
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His hands start to shake a bit, shaking his head and trying to break himself from the pain, but more so from the image that's haunting him now. He can hear her screaming all over again. ]
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[He manages to lifts his head, shaking like a leaf, before he leans forward - he falls onto his knees on the ground, and crawls over to Kotetsu, his concern for him outweighing his pain.]
Kotetsu.... [He reaches out to grasp his hand.] Kotetsu, I-I'm here, Kotetsu....
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He lifts his gaze to try to focus on Sholmes, chest rising and falling sharply as he's trying desperately to calm down. His free hand weakly reaches out to touch Sholmes' cheek. ]
I... S-Sorry... I had no... idea...
[ The guilt starts to settle into his features. ]
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[Ugh. What is this? First the wounds, and then...what? Some feedback from them?]
[He holds the other's hand on his cheek, trying to comfort.]
Don't apologize. You had no idea.
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He can't help the tears forming and dropping down to his lap. Maybe this is self-pity and wallowing, but he's so sick of this. He's always lived by the motto to keep going, no matter what. That even if you unplug the power, you do things manually. Never give up.
He feels like he can't even help Sholmes with his problems right now. He can even hold him close. ]
I shouldn't have. I can't... I can't even help you. What am I even doing?
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[It hurts to see Kotetsu pained like this. He shouldn't be so upset at this. What can he do? Just be there for him. Always be there for him.]
You are helping me now. Don't fret. Your existence strengthens mine.
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I... You're the one that's hurting. Don't worry about me.
[ He swallows hard, trying to shove all of that back down into the pit of his stomach. Sholmes went through so much shit today, he doesn't need to bring up more or make it about himself. ]
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[He notices Finley trying to burrow - Irene hops over to nudge her with her beak. Sholmes moves to kiss the palm of the other's hand.]
I'd rather talk about you than me. So please...what happened?
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This injury, it came from one of he monsters that had been attacking Kaede... not the dragon. The pain... I guess it brought me back to that moment.
[ Finley barely registers Irene's comforting. She's terrified right now. ]
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[If it was to Kaede...?]
W-Why is Finley reacting like that? Kotetsu?
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Finley... She's...
[ He takes in a breath to even himself. ]
I died because Finley was killed. [ He looks to the side, fixing his gaze on a single point. ] I felt my soul being torn to shreds and couldn't do anything to stop it.
[ So. He'd felt the joy of his soul dying. ]
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[He's putting his hand down to gently go over to Finley. If he can't touch Kotetsu...then this will have to do.]
[He tries to scoop her up in his arms, holding her. Giving her warmth. She's here. She's alive.]
I'm so sorry. You should have never gone through that.
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After what happened, it should be very obvious how much it means that Kotetsu lets anyone touch his soul, daemon or otherwise. That lingering fear of her getting hurt and that pain that is felt through their bond. ]
It's fine... It was harder to see Kaede dying while Finley turned to dust.
[ He sure did die at the same time as his "daughter." Helpless from the pain of his soul being damaged, watching both of them being torn to pieces and unable to do anything.
Both were equally hard to experience. ]
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How horrible. This place plays tricks on us all, trying to torment us...
[He lets out a shuddering sigh.]
My dear. My dear Kotetsu. You are here now. And you should never experience anything like it again.
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I know... I know... You're here with me.
[ He shifts a bit, trying to reach out toward Irene. While he can't pull her close to his chest, he wants to hold her anyway.
Finley relaxes more in Sholmes' touch, the last of the shivering easing out. She's safe. She feels so safe and protected here. ]
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[He leans back a little against Kotetsu, happy to provide him something, anything, After the weight of today, feeling like a failure...he can't fail at this. He just can't. He presses a kiss against Finley's head.]
[Irene shifts - this time, into her beagle form, not one she usually turns into. She allows herself to be hugged, whimpering, and licks at Kotetsu's face. Sholmes sighs - it feels so warm, deep inside, to be held like this.]
[Kotetsu is like the sun to him.]
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He pets Irene's head gently, accepting the kisses when she gives them and giving her a soft kiss on the nose. He's trying to be careful with the wound, not wanting to trigger that again for either of them. He settles her down into his lap to cradle her against his stomach, petting gently. ]
Hey Sholmes... Guess what?
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[He looks up just a little bit from where he's mostly focused on Finley, just trying to enjoy the warmth and feelings here as best as he can. Irene is more than happy to deliver happy dog kisses until she's moved into his lap, where she turns and sits, tail wagging.]
What is it?
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In their position, he tries to nuzzle at Sholmes the best he can, but it's a pretty failed attempt from this angle. At least he tried. ]
I love you. And you continue to be my personal hero. Finley's afraid of being touched even by fellow daemons at this point and here you are holding her so softly in your arms. She feels safe. Secure. You're the only one that could do that.
[ He's far from being recovered from that trauma, but... sitting here with Sholmes? He feels some semblance of normal once again. ]
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[Ah, how much his heart hurts, and how much it soars, to hear him say that.]
...I'm glad. [And he's crying again. He can't help it.] I'm glad I can...truly and honestly help someone I love so much.
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You do. All the time. No matter what anyone else says. You're my ally and partner, in every sense.
[ He knows the weight of partner between them. But it's true for him. Sholmes is someone he cannot imagine ever living without again. ]
...Before, when I tried to hug you. You were talking about Xie Lian... What happened?
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[He's silent for a moment, just letting those words sink in.]
He said my actions had caused grievous harm to others. Namely Baraqiel. The man is fond of them, as you are probably aware. By keeping this secret between us, and then hounding down other roles, I apparently had broken Mr. Escardos's two person limit, which causes the Watchers to weaken. Even if I didn't know, it still happened, as a result of my actions. He said to not beg for empathy and forgiveness from him, but from our masked benefactors.
[And a sigh.]
And apparently, earlier, when I had told him whether he could understand having someone you would fight for, he thought I was talking down to him, as if he was a child. Really, I wasn't... [A shake of the head.] But then, when I brought up how he had hounded you for a role, and inadvertently became your second person to hit the limit, he became rather cross, and said my argument didn't make sense, since he was invited by Mr. Lowell to that meeting, and to never speak to him in that tone of voice again.
He said he forgave me, but it felt like quite a coldly given forgiveness. The man is as fiercely defensive of his loved ones as I am. So I do not know...how in the world I'll get back in his good graces again.
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